Master Hand and Crazy Hand Thumb Wrestle
by Circuit 347
Summary: When a match between Ness and Bayonetta ends in a tie, Master Hand and Crazy Hand bicker childishly about who won. The Smashers get fed up with the arguing and has the two hands thumb wrestle to duke it out, but when that ends in a tie as well... read to find out. (Oh, man this is poorly written. I swear this isn't a reflection of my current writing style.)
1. Master Hand and Crazy Hand Thumb Wrestle

In Final Destination, the two giant gloved hands were having a bitter argument about the tournament, despite not having mouths to argue with...

"I swear, Crazy! How did you not see that?!" Master Hand grumbled. "It was Bayonetta that got K.Oed first! Not Ness!"

"I specifically saw Ness fly out of bounds first!" Crazy Hand screeched. "You need to get your eyes checked!"

"I don't even have eyes! I'm nothing but a hand!"

"Then how can you say that Ness won and not Bayonetta?"

"How can you say Bayonetta won? You don't have eyes either!"

As the two bickered, the Smashers looked over from the sidelines, each feeling rather annoyed at the delay.

"If they keep on at this rate, I'll have all my adult teeth by the time I go on to the next round," Ness pouted. In frustration, he threw his red cap on the ground.

"You mean when _I _go on," Bayonetta corrected with a competitive glare.

"Does it even matter at this point?" Link pondered. He sighed and plopped down on the bench."They've been arguing for hours with no compromise,"

"So how do we settle this? Make them arm wrestle?" Samus asked.

"But they don't have arms," Sonic pointed out. "Not even wrists. Come to think of it..." He began to stoke his chin as he thought. "How do they even talk?"

"Duuuuuh," Rosalina patronized. "They're magic,"

"Oh! I know!" Ash blurted happily. "Let's have them arm wrestle!"

"But then they'll just argue over that," Bowser grumbled.

"Yeah, they argue over everything," Marth stated in annoyance. The prince was correct. Master Hand and Crazy Hand would bicker nonstop over what movie to watch, what to get for dinner, what BTS member was hotter, Bowser Jr's bedtime when forced to babysit, and literally anything else one could think of. The two hands were complete opposites.

"They won't argue if _we _call the shots," Pit says. "Whaddya think, Pittoo?"

"I think it's-" Dark Pit started to say stupid but was cut off.

"A marvelous idea, indeed!" Palutena chirped, clapping her hands together. "Right, Pittoo?"

Dark Pit only rolled his eyes.


	2. The Match Goes Awry

Master Hand and Crazy Hand get into position. They latch hands and stick out their thumbs.

"You sure this is a good idea?" Master Hand asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, because _I _came up with it!" Ash bragged. His female counter part rolled her eyes.

"Reeeaaadddy!" Mario announced. "Let's a go!"

The two giant hands dualed fiercely. After a while, Master Hand had Crazy Hand pinned... or Crazy Hand snake holed. I don't know.

"I win!" Master cheered. He pumped his fist. "Ness, you ready for the next round?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Crazy Hand said quickly. "I snake holed!"

"Let's have the Smashers vote,"

"Good idea. Smashers! If you think I won, raise your hand!"

For Crazy Hand, 36 fighters raise their hands.

"If you're smart enough to know that _I _won, raise your hand!" Master Hand shouted.

Another 36 fighters raised their hands.

"We need a tie breaker," Wii Fit Trainer analyzed.

"But everyone voted," Simon observed.

"How about we have them race?" Sonic suggested.

"Do you think about anything else, Sonic?" Shulk chuckled.

"Nope!" Sonic replied happily. "Speed is life!"

"Of course you'd suggest a race," Mario seethed. "You know good and well Crazy Hand is faster. You just want Bayonetta to wim because she's from SEGA!"

Several others noded in agreement.

"Racist!" Sonic gasped.

"_Companyist,_" Mewtwo corrects. Immediately, the Smashers all began fighting over whether or not Sonic was loyal to the franchise. This went on for a while until Master Hand and Crazy Hand decided to intervene.

Mario lunged at Sonic, but Master Hand flattened himself like a wall and blocked Mario's attack, causing the plumber to break his nose.

"Mamma mia!" Mario winces as blood drips out onto the ground, his overalls, and even Master Hand's glove.

"Master Hand hurt Mario!" Yoshi screamed like a banshee. "He's still evil! Get him!"

Every single fighter shoots forward and behins attacking Master Hand with no remorse. Crazy Hand just laughed at his friend's predicament.

The mischievous hand invited some assist trophies over and they began beating up Master Hand as well, just for kicks. Crazy even gathered up some final smash balls and scattered them around Final Destination. Literally every fighter snags one and they each unleash their final smashes with fire and fury.

Crazy Hand grabs a popcorn bucket and watches with content as Master Hand is brutally beat up.

_This is the life, _he thought to himself.


End file.
